i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
