is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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