you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
