yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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