P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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