He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
