Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
