That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
