Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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