Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
