You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
