O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
