On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
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history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
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sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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