Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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