their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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