dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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