She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
