My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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