Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
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I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
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The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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