I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
