Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
