some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
