dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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