I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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