I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
