meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
