honey bunches of taint.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
