If i come over, it means nothing
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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