i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
