well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
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Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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