Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.