My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize