saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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