I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.