Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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