I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
