Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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