benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
