Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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