Fuck appropriateness.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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