East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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