Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I cockslap morals
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize