____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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