Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Too much gin, very little bucket
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Randomize
