Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
