i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
