My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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