Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
