with your own penis?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
