My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.