Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
