i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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