My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
do herpes really smell.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
