This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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