Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
ttyl tear gas
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
