He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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