Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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