And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
