I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
