I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize