Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
