you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
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I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
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I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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