she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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