every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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