And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
