Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize