My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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