your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening