Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business

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  (610): jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business http://tfl.nu/wkq5
  Replies (2) Good night (1398) Bad night (421)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious

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  (847): The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious http://tfl.nu/2wct
  Replies (37) Good night (4954) Bad night (705)
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  (818): View more from California

  First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.

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  (818): First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex. http://tfl.nu/u5cb
  Replies (23) Good night (656) Bad night (6175)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty

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  (918): When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty http://tfl.nu/ybq4
  Replies (19) Good night (1182) Bad night (6732)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much

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  (248): today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much http://tfl.nu/3dmn
  Replies (26) Good night (10454) Bad night (1101)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better

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  (215): We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better http://tfl.nu/6zww
  Replies (9) Good night (4127) Bad night (749)
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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.

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  (340): I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen. http://tfl.nu/cees
  Replies (25) Good night (3914) Bad night (1241)
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  (415): View more from California

  I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station

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  (415): I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station http://tfl.nu/tet7
  Replies (15) Good night (3734) Bad night (483)
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  (516): View more from New York

  yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...

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  (516): yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye... http://tfl.nu/3it0
  Replies (2) Good night (816) Bad night (495)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real

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  (319): God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real http://tfl.nu/8qp8
  Replies (2) Good night (1488) Bad night (352)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.

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  (865): My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together. http://tfl.nu/dn4t
  Replies (2) Good night (663) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm on the job.

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  (812): The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory. (503): I'm on the job. http://tfl.nu/qjws
  Replies (6) Good night (1020) Bad night (275)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions

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  (410): I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions http://tfl.nu/ho2j
  Replies (4) Good night (517) Bad night (297)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets

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  (602): My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets http://tfl.nu/nnmb
  Replies (3) Good night (445) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.

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  (207): Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg. http://tfl.nu/550i
  Replies (3) Good night (442) Bad night (244)

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