Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.

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(713): View more from Texas

I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.

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(850): View more from Florida

JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?

(305): View more from Florida

Its worth a shot.

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Read it at the TFLN blog
(+49): View more from Germany

The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?

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(208): View more from Idaho

I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work

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(513): View more from Ohio

I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.

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(518): View more from New York

he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.

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