Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  she looked like the bat from fern gully.

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  (480): she looked like the bat from fern gully. http://tfl.nu/q79p
  Replies (31) Good night (878) Bad night (3434)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Small penises have feelings too.

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  (573): Small penises have feelings too. http://tfl.nu/ikhv
  Replies (68) Good night (879) Bad night (3833)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  was it more than 30 minutes?

  (416): View more from Ontario

  ya

  (519): View more from Ontario

  then you're in a relationship

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  (519): was it more than 30 minutes? (416): ya (519): then you're in a relationship http://tfl.nu/ie8p
  Replies (34) Good night (4964) Bad night (874)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world

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  (631): i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world http://tfl.nu/qaz3
  Replies (30) Good night (6885) Bad night (1251)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie

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  (860): i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie http://tfl.nu/y2j0
  Replies (17) Good night (4591) Bad night (1909)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  That's because you are an idiot.

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  (417): I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot. (1-417): That's because you are an idiot. http://tfl.nu/6gwl
  Replies (17) Good night (1820) Bad night (4949)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old

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  (818): Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old http://tfl.nu/8lce
  Replies (10) Good night (2930) Bad night (1428)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...

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  (217): I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting... http://tfl.nu/eihm
  Replies (11) Good night (2520) Bad night (882)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.

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  (240): When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again. http://tfl.nu/1y07
  Replies (24) Good night (7384) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.

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  (478): Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio. http://tfl.nu/i0fo
  Replies (6) Good night (2274) Bad night (775)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??

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  (518): i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in?? http://tfl.nu/j32d
  Replies (4) Good night (1656) Bad night (605)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.

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  (970): Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack. http://tfl.nu/afhg
  Replies (2) Good night (445) Bad night (895)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?

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  (214): Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend? http://tfl.nu/qooe
  Replies (1) Good night (707) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.

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  (636): She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet. http://tfl.nu/ogh1
  Replies (5) Good night (1057) Bad night (362)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside

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  (914): I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside http://tfl.nu/wdly
  Replies (3) Good night (660) Bad night (259)

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