I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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